How to Connect with Your Audience

By Al Borowski

The rapport you build with your audience determines the ultimate success of your presentation.

Your high-tech, high-content presentation becomes memorable and valued when you include a high-touch component that connects you to your audience.

The following techniques offer you relatively easy ways to help build that rapport.

Say Yes

The first rapport builder relies on one word that should become part of every speaker's vocabulary: "yes."

For example, if someone in your audience says to you, "Thank you for those insights. I can use them at work and in my personal life. I know I can apply this in my relationships with my spouse and my children."

The next word you say should be, "yes." As in, "Yes, I think you've hit upon something there."

Positive affirmations not only verify the importance of your message, but they also bring practical application to other members of the audience. Remember the E. F. Hutton commercial? (“When E.F. Hutton talks, people listen.”) Everyone around that person hears a positive message coming from one of their peers.

Saying "Yes" to participants' comments shows that you care about them, that you value their opinions and insights, and that you welcome their participation. This all helps to build rapport during your presentation.

On the other hand, if one of your participants disagrees with you, this presents a great opportunity to try to build rapport and establish a relationship with that person. It also gives you a second chance to discuss your side of the issue without a debate or hard feelings.

The Three R’s

I use a technique I call Reflect – Respect – Respond.

For example, imagine that a participant says, "I don't think this would work back in my environment."

Reflect

Rather than engaging in a debate or trying to sell that person on your idea, repeat what you heard: "You don't think that would work back in your environment."

That's the Reflecting part. You have proven to the participants that you were listening. And this shows that you value your audience members and consider their input important.

Respect

After Reflecting what the participant says, use the Respect component.

Rather than immediately defending your position or putting that person on the defensive, validate what was said. Let the participant know that his or her feelings or thoughts are not unknown or unreasonable. You could say something like, "I’ve met others who felt the same way. They didn’t feel comfortable with these ideas either."

The most important part of using the Respecting technique is being sincere in your comments. This sincerity comes from empathy for your participants. If you are not sincere when you use the Respecting component, you can do more harm than good.

Respond

After Reflecting and Responding, your Response could be, "Indeed, I have had many of those same people come back to let me know they tried the techniques and that they worked.”

One word that you should avoid with the Reflect – Respect – Respond technique is "but."

As soon as you use the word "but" you cancel the message that you said before it.

For example, if you Reflected and Respected properly and then said, “But, I have had many of those same people come back to let me know they tried the techniques and that they worked,” you have negated their feelings.

In this instance, “but” becomes as powerful in a negative sense as the word, "No."

Simply drop the "but."

Reflect – Respect – Respond. This three step strategy puts a positive spin on a negative situation and sometimes helps you win more friends and gain more respect.

© 1999 Al Borowski, MEd, CSP
www.connectallthedots.com

Al Borowski, MEd, CSP is a Certified Speaking Professional who presents keynote speeches, breakout sessions, and workshops on business communication skills topics. Contact Al toll-free at 1-877-902- 3314 or at 412-561-7628 or al@connectallthedots.com. Visit his website at http://www.connectallthedots.com.
 

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